Anger in the Age of E-Mail

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It’s natural to get angry. And certainly, some pretty hot-tempered, “hair-trigger” individuals have still managed to do some very great things. But I raise this point for a reason.

See, you’d be surprised… shocked… unpleasantly stunned… by how one hot-tempered moment can undo years of building your career credentials. Yet, especially in the world of email, misunderstandings and flare-ups happen more than ever.

As a copywriter, I’d venture the likelihood is even higher, since the role actually requires that we constantly subject ourselves to critiques and directly measurable marketing results.

I once had a feud that lasted six months with a marketing manager who just wouldn’t get around to mailing my promo (when she did, finally, it became the control for two years).

Was it worth it?

Not a minute of it. The long emails I never sent. The ranting to co-workers on the telephone. All a waste of time, in retrospect. Not to mention what they must have thought of me after the call.

What do you do if you get into a hairy, hostile situation professionally? Some suggestions from the Wall Street Journal

Delay your reaction. Count to 10. Wait 24 hours. Save the long, angry email as a “draft” and reevaluate hours or even days later.

Go elsewhere. Withdraw to another room, another office, another venue. For a few minutes or a few hours. See if you’re still as hot under the collar when you return.

Vent discretely. To a friend. A journal. Or just open a Word doc on your computer and start typing, “The trouble with so-and-so is…” Don’t stop until you’ve run out of steam. Then delete the document.

Agree then ask. “Yeah, you might be right… and if that’s true, tell me what you would do in the same situation.”

See the result. Net-net, what’s the outcome you’re after? Abandon revenge and make this outcome your target instead.

All easier said than done. And sure, I have my own hard time keeping my temper reigned in sometimes. But I can tell you this. Whenever I fail to respond coolly, I always regret it afterward.

Don’t you?

Last modified: August 18, 2017

One Response to " Anger in the Age of E-Mail "

  1. Wordnut says:

    This certainly rings true for me. I have called clients names to their faces, although nothing worse than “goober,” and of course immediately felt terrible. My daughter has an imitation of me venting in my office (to people who aren’t there), lots of words like “stupid” and “ridiculous” flying everywhere. Interestingly, once I started taking medicine for high blood pressure, I became a lot more even-keeled!

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